Welcome to my attempt to live fully and honestly, to sing out the song of myself, to truly know who I am......

.....either that or the ramblings of a barely coherant, tired out mum of two!!

Wednesday, 2 August 2006

Poem #4

Poem #4
Little Girl

In her hands
She holds the key
From shadowy realms
She call to me.

She has the answers to the questions
That I'm afraid to ask
She knows the person I hide
Behind the mask.

She used to be so silent
Hidden in the depths
Now her screams
Haunt my dreams
Yet I refuse to hear.

A little girl with golden hair
A little girl with her painful stare
A little girl who holds the key
To the person who is me.

To Tell or not to Tell.

A while ago I read somewhere that it is essential for the person to tell all that has happened to him/her in order to heal. I was horriied.

Firstly it is not necessary for a survivor to tell in explicit detail any part of what has been done to them for healing to take place. For some it is more important to concentrate on the feelings and emotions not the acts themselves. For others telling in broad strokes the nature of what they have suffered is enough. Some may need to go over the events in great detail. For some a mixture of approaches will work best. All these ways of healing are good and valid.

Secondly no-one should be forced to talk in detail about their experiences - this is abuse. It gives the green light to those who get a kick out of hearing this kind of stuff to put pressure on those who need help. Talking in detail against ones will is akin to being abused all over again. Those who have testified in court will understand what I mean.

What is important for a person to heal from abuse is someone who is willing to listen to the said and the unsaid. Someone who will come alongside and gently support while the person finds a way through the darkness. Someone who will not judge you but gently and insistantly whisper 'It was not your fault'.

Please - if someone reveals to you that something happened to them as a child - be ready to listen and go at their pace. Do not judge. Be gentle.