SUNSET
Sunset
Red, orange, Gold.
Sunset
Proclaiming God
He exists, He lives.
Sunset
How Can you look at
Sunset
and tell me God is dead?
Sunset.
Sunrise
Red, orange, Gold.
Sunrise
Announcing the day.
Sunrise
He exists, He lives, He loves you.
Sunrise
Do you see?
Sunrise
God is alive in you and me and
Sunrise.
May 1991
Wednesday, 19 July 2006
Tuesday, 18 July 2006
If.....
If people were honest and only asked the questions they really wanted answers to - what would the world look like?
Can you imagine it
'Oh hello, how are you today?'
'Well the kids had me up all night and I feel kinda tired and the cat gor run over and I can't afford a vet and I've got this pain around my heart that won't go away and yesterday I buried my best friend and I can't quite get over the trauma of the past and I would really like to talk and I would really like you to hear me'
We ask the questions but we don't really want to hear what the other person really feels and what is going on in their lives. That would somehow be too messy, too personal, too close.
Can you imagine it
'Oh hello, how are you today?'
'Well the kids had me up all night and I feel kinda tired and the cat gor run over and I can't afford a vet and I've got this pain around my heart that won't go away and yesterday I buried my best friend and I can't quite get over the trauma of the past and I would really like to talk and I would really like you to hear me'
We ask the questions but we don't really want to hear what the other person really feels and what is going on in their lives. That would somehow be too messy, too personal, too close.
Sometimes......
Sometimes I am woken by screaming only to realise it is me.
Sometimes I am too scared to close my eyes and sleep for fear of what lurks in the darkness.
Sometimes the tears fall for no apparent reason.
Sometimes silence is terrifying.
Sometimes I hope for a better future.
Sometimes I find joy in just being alive.
Sometimes my children remind me of all that was stolen from me.
Sometimes my children remind me of the beauty of living.
Sometimes the Son shines into my darkness.
Sometimes the Light threatens to reveal my secrets.
Sometimes I welcome this.
Sometimes I cower in the dark corners afraid to come out.
Sometimes I think I understand.
Sometimes I know I never will.
Sometimes I am too scared to close my eyes and sleep for fear of what lurks in the darkness.
Sometimes the tears fall for no apparent reason.
Sometimes silence is terrifying.
Sometimes I hope for a better future.
Sometimes I find joy in just being alive.
Sometimes my children remind me of all that was stolen from me.
Sometimes my children remind me of the beauty of living.
Sometimes the Son shines into my darkness.
Sometimes the Light threatens to reveal my secrets.
Sometimes I welcome this.
Sometimes I cower in the dark corners afraid to come out.
Sometimes I think I understand.
Sometimes I know I never will.
Beginnings
One would think that it was fairly easy to write about ones own life. Just start at the beginning and move forward through history until the present day is reached.
It isn't that easy. Much of my childhood is lost in the trauma of survival, some is jumbled and can't possibly be exactly as how I remember it. Some memories only exist in a series of photo like images that flash into mind and then are gone before I can really understand them. Others are two painful to contemplate and yet they will not be still, they will not be silenced.
It is time I think to allow them to speak, sometimes in the small voice and sometimes to shout. to give voice and words and articulate-ness to the inarticulate scream of a frightened child. She will not be silenced, not now, not anymore.
Come forth Child, for here you will be heard, here you will be safe.
It isn't that easy. Much of my childhood is lost in the trauma of survival, some is jumbled and can't possibly be exactly as how I remember it. Some memories only exist in a series of photo like images that flash into mind and then are gone before I can really understand them. Others are two painful to contemplate and yet they will not be still, they will not be silenced.
It is time I think to allow them to speak, sometimes in the small voice and sometimes to shout. to give voice and words and articulate-ness to the inarticulate scream of a frightened child. She will not be silenced, not now, not anymore.
Come forth Child, for here you will be heard, here you will be safe.
Tuesday, 4 July 2006
Baby Blogger - Urgh!
I have conjunctivitis in both eyes and I am teething and I am a bit miserable! Apart from that I am happy and healthy and I am now 13 months old! We are going on holiday next week - I don't really know what that is but Peter seems very excited about something called a beach and the sea.
Love Eleanor xx
Hello,
I have had a new splint but my foot still does not seem right. I am at the hospital on friday so hopefully that will help.
We are going on holiday on Saturday but I have not yet got a bucket and spade. Mummy says she will definately get me one.
Ellie is cute but she cries when I sit on her - I don't quite understand why!
Love Peter xx
Love Eleanor xx
Hello,
I have had a new splint but my foot still does not seem right. I am at the hospital on friday so hopefully that will help.
We are going on holiday on Saturday but I have not yet got a bucket and spade. Mummy says she will definately get me one.
Ellie is cute but she cries when I sit on her - I don't quite understand why!
Love Peter xx
Monday, 24 April 2006
Health ....or not!
My husband Shane had the first of two ECG's yesterday. This was the sort done by a nurse who doesn't actually look at the print out but sticks it in a file and says the doctor will get back to you. His next ECG is one of those full blown exercise and at rest ones where they have you doing all sorts of stuff presumably to see if they can induce some sort of attack.
This all stems from the pleurasy he had at Christmas. He has been left with chest pain and shortness of breath. He has been given an inhaler for asthma and a GTN spray for angina, none of these conditions have as yet been confirmed.
My health remains rubbish. I was put on to different types of medication for the diabetes. My readings remain too high and the side effects of the drugs have resulted in almost constant diarrhoea. I am still extremely tired and increasingly frustrated.
On the up side the children have now recovered from their bout of illness and seem to be doing well. Peter is due to get a new splint for his left foot next week as the present one is now too small. He seems to grow at an alarming rate but is still in clothes for 18month-2yr old even though he will be three in June.
Eleanor gets cuter by the day. She is a real ray of sunshine with a smile that just blows me away. However bad things get I am a truly lucky woman to have such wonderful children. They keep things bright and cheery despite all the negatives of life at the moment.
This all stems from the pleurasy he had at Christmas. He has been left with chest pain and shortness of breath. He has been given an inhaler for asthma and a GTN spray for angina, none of these conditions have as yet been confirmed.
My health remains rubbish. I was put on to different types of medication for the diabetes. My readings remain too high and the side effects of the drugs have resulted in almost constant diarrhoea. I am still extremely tired and increasingly frustrated.
On the up side the children have now recovered from their bout of illness and seem to be doing well. Peter is due to get a new splint for his left foot next week as the present one is now too small. He seems to grow at an alarming rate but is still in clothes for 18month-2yr old even though he will be three in June.
Eleanor gets cuter by the day. She is a real ray of sunshine with a smile that just blows me away. However bad things get I am a truly lucky woman to have such wonderful children. They keep things bright and cheery despite all the negatives of life at the moment.
Wednesday, 4 January 2006
The Mayfly Project
Blog hopping I came across a link to the Mayfly project. This basically is a site where you are invited to sum up your 2005 in 24 words or less. The lifespan of a mayfly is 24 hours.
Heres mine:
Pregnant.Baby Girl Born.
Stress, tired
Husband Gives Evidence in Murder Trial.
Maternity Leave Over.
another birthday.
Christmas is coming!
Husband has Pleurisy--Great!
Heres mine:
Pregnant.Baby Girl Born.
Stress, tired
Husband Gives Evidence in Murder Trial.
Maternity Leave Over.
another birthday.
Christmas is coming!
Husband has Pleurisy--Great!
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